Next March I would have live more than 40 years on planet earth. It’s something about turning 40, that at this age, it’s inevitable that you reflect more deeply about what’s left of your life. In my case I’ve been let down so many times, that my faith and trust in God was limited, (without knowing), I wanted to do everything on my own, but now, I’m ready to make changes. God and I have been on a long journey together with many twists and turns, but I believe I am at a good place to look back and reflect. Reflecting on the past is good as long as you don’t dwell on the negatives, and for me I needed that to be able to move on, because I was holding on to people that added no growth to my life. In the mist of my journey, I was sick, hurt, tired and ready for this journey to end, because it all felt like torture. But now, I am enjoying the journey more than ever, because where I am, I understand and know myself better, which renewed my faith. Today what would I tell my younger self? Although I must say, my answer would have been different and selfish 5 years ago.
So now I would tell my younger self, to take the Bible text, I will never leave you nor forsake you seriously, because it is truth. It’s good that God don’t let us know what our struggles are before we go through them, because just the thought will make us gave up. I would tell my younger self, it’s hard to speak up, but get the courage, because when you do, it’s empowering, people are amazed with your story and it is important. Accept yourself as God made you, never, ever, ever compare yourself to people around you, especially family. For me I did that, so most of my 20s I thought that my experiences singled me out as being abnormal. Looking back helps you reassess what you liked and disliked about your experiences, and help you come up with ways to improve them. Your hard work in school will be worth it. You are not the only person in the world who feels this way, whatever “this way” is that you’re feeling. The church is made of different types of people; don’t let some of them make church bad for you. And lastly, stop watching so much TV, read. Remember one very important thing, everything happens for a reason, regret nothing, but find the lesson to help you grow. Its amazing to watch God answer my prayer list, one item at a time and it gives me chills.